When the door swung open Nanoc was knee deep in bodies. His long black hair clung to his sweat draped shoulders in ugly ropes. Nanoc turned and faced what he hoped would be another hell bound foe, but to his utter dismay it was just another scantily clad dame about to complicate his life.

“You Nanoc?” She asked in a low purr like a lion anticipating the gazelle’s next leap. Nanoc gave her the once over. Long luscious ruby hair flowed down over her muscled frame. She stood about five foot ten and every inch of her was leg. A small swath of sloth pretended to be a skirt as it clung for dear life around what Nanoc could only think of as load bearing hips. He would not have such an easy time breaking this woman. She had strapped to her belt a wicked looking cutlass that was long enough to brush the top of her knee high leather boots. ‘Pirate’ Nanoc thought and his eyes snapped up to her shirt. That confirmed it. Her huge breasts were nestled in a poofy black pirate shirt that did nothing to cover her shoulders or stomach. Nanoc spit on his knee and slapped it to ward himself against the spirits of the sea. You could never be too careful with Pirates.

“I am Nanoc. Barbarian Private Investigator of Crummier. Let me just clear off a chair.” Nanoc pulled the strangled corpse over into the corner of his one room hut which also served as his office. He would chuck the bodies of the seven assassins over the cliff later. The woman took a seat only after making sure she would not be sitting in blood. Nanoc counted the seconds it took her to cross her mile long legs.

“Well Nanoc,” she pronounced his name with distaste, “I am the great pirate queen Kella the Heartless. Last night, while onshore with my men at the city of Rollos, my ship was stolen. Now I have forty pounds of liberated meat and twelve kegs of ale and no ship to transport them in. Half my men were captured by the king’s guard trying to escape on foot. I am in ruin. You must find my ship!” The great brow over Nanoc's eyes furrowed and he stood towering over Kella at his full height of six feet three inches.

“I must do nothing. I may choose to help you if you offer me the right price.” Kella stood quicker that a cross lightning snake and pulled her cutlass to Nanoc's throat. Before it could connect Nanoc’s mighty fist cleaved through the air and punched Kella in the chest. While her ample cleavage protected her breastbone from splintering she was catapulted through the mad wall that made up the east facing side of Nanoc’s hut. He sighed and made a mental note to repair the hole later. Outside Kella had already regained her breath and cursed the sky, trees, grass, rocks, Nanoc, the air, her men, two birds and everything else she could think of. The gods took note. Nanoc scratched at the thick rug of black hair covering his chest and pondered Kelli’s situation. If it was true that she was the great pirate queen then no doubt she would have a hidden horde of treasure. He weighed his options. Ask for some of the horde as payment or perhaps her bed. Nanoc pulled his great axe out of a body stapled to the far wall and hefted a chain mail shirt over his shoulders. The shirt had been liberated from one of the elite guards of the Prince of the Camaya Islands and did not properly fit Nanoc. He had taken the time to split it down the sides and now it served as an almost useful drape of protection. He turned as Kella entered the hut.

“Nanoc, would you find my ship for me?” The sour look on her face spoke of the pain of having to ask for help instead of demanding it. “I have vast wealth and would pay dearly for you services.” Nanoc chewed on his lip for a moment and nodded.

“Fine. I will find you ship and when I do you will take me to your treasure. Then I will name my price. Kella grimaced, and nodded in return. The fire had left her green eyes and in the end she was just like every other woman who had tread across Nanoc’s path; nothing but trouble.

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